Born Again

I have a NEW life now in Christ Jesus and with Him. Jesus is LORD of my life, in this new life. In fact it is precisely His Lordship that sustains my experience of this NEW, saved, glory I call my “born again” life. I am not alone and I will never go without help! In fact I literally have ALL the help I need, in Him, with Him and by His Holy Spirit graciously living in me and ALWAYS lovingly guiding me to think His thoughts together with Him.

In this new life I am a man worthy of respect and honor. In this new life I am a Rock of strength, stability and steadfastness just like Peter. The Lord Jesus Christ said to Peter “And he brought him to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone.” ‭‭John‬ ‭1:42‬ ‭KJV

There will come many moments of seemingly meaningless monotony with little if any value as you journey through the sea of moments on the surface of forms in this present world of space and time on which you now live in form. As King Solomon noted after searching out meaning through all the vast array of these forms “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬ or “all is meaningless” as it says in other translations. And in the realm of the shallowness of these forms, indeed yes, all is vanity, and all is meaningless ultimately.

Yet when the Lord Jesus came to us He also proclaimed, “The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: for she came from the uttermost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon is here.” Matthew‬ ‭12:42‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The testimony of Solomon exposed the vanity of forms, yet the testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ, our Lord, my Lord, was that there is a meaning, a valuable treasure that is not vanity, a pearl of great price, that when the wise man discovered it, he sold all he had to buy that field that had it buried in it.

This treasure of all treasures, this truly meaningful and profoundly valuable treasure was, is and is to come the grace gift of God to mankind which is a mystical union with, in and as one with the Lord Jesus Christ like husband and wife. In this profound and mysterious treasure, all the fullness of all the grace in all of that which we call and refer to as “the Gospel” is fully and completely contained! Herein lies all the fullness of all the riches and glory and grace of all the kindness, love, beauty and power of God for us. It is the treasure of being One with our Lord Jesus… my Lord.

“And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:46‬ ‭KJV‬‬

In living the “born again” life, in newness of life with Jesus as our “Lord” we walk a narrow way. “Even the demons believe, and shudder.” (James 2:19) Yet we have a life in the Lord Jesus Christ that is called out to obey Him as Lord. This obedience is the mark of our true identity in union with Him as a humble bride following the leadership of her bridegroom. “Narrow is the road that leads to life and only a few find it but broad is the road that leads to destruction”, Jesus said. He also told a parable of virgins called to tend the oil in their lamps so that when the bridegroom returned, they would be ready.

Though we indeed have many meaningless moments of forms there is a deeper essence that lies under the surface of all that is which is a profound and intimate union in oneness with the Love that created the whole world and all the cosmos including every life within it in the physical and heavenly (spiritual) realms. This Love came to the world of forms as a Man in time and space whose name was and is and is to come, the Lord Jesus Christ. In and through Him we discover the liberty of His grace to be called sons of God as we believe in Him by His empowering belief in us.

“Him who the Son sets free (from sin, death, misery and Solomon’s ongoing prison of meaningless monotony) is free indeed!” “Come to me and drink!” “Out of me (and you) will flow great rivers of living water 💦!” That water will continually bless us individually and will also be a well for all the nations to come and drink of Him, (the Love that formed the world and even now still holds it all together in His hand), as we simply abide in Him like fruit abiding in the Vine. So it is with us who dwell in Him and bear fruit through obedience empowered by His unending Love and grace to us ultimately demonstrated, communicated and injected into all mankind once and for all at the cross.

Now then since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles and run the race with perseverance. (Heb. 12:1). We run as one who runs in order to get the prize (1 Cor. 9:24)… even though Christ has already won all for us. Yet as we run with whole hearted devotion like this to our Lord Jesus Christ we both express Him and experience Him in ecstasy and fullness bearing glorious luscious fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

We become a living incarnation of Him, a river of living water bubbling up from within us for us to drink and for all the world to drink as we throw off the sin that so easily entangles, run the race marked out for us and abide in the vine of His love, the wine of His blood and daily bread of His body offered for us. As we consume Him we automatically obey Him, because we are in love.

How else could one smitten with such love as this behave when in communion with the true bridegroom of her heart, but to humbly submit to obey and walk with Him? In this kind love of our Lord and bridegroom, the One whom we are sealed with until that day of redemption for all things in the world of forms, even as we are already seated in that redemption in the deeper hidden essence in Him, we find a peace that surpasses all understanding not on account of anything we have done, but merely and simply because of the Love that He had for us and continually has had for us now also.

Luke 6:42 - 49 (KJV)

42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.

A Tree and its Fruit (Matthew 7:15-23; Matthew 12:33-37)

43 For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 44 For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes. 45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

The House on the Rock (Matthew 7:24-27)

46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? 47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: 48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. 49 But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.

Grace and peace! ❤️ -Will

My Worth to God

I've often felt like I needed to accomplish something to be pleasing to God or at least have some past accomplishments under my belt. I've thought about things like... how many people have I evangelized, how many mission trips have I gone on, how often have I shared the gospel or treated the poor with love. Then I would proceed to judge myself based on those kinds of things. It reminds me of the story of Saul and David a little. Everyone thought Saul was obviously the kingly type and David was the most absurd choice for a king ever. But God thought differently, because God didn't look at men like other men did. God looked on the heart. In a moment of self judgment this morning, I started to consider what makes anyone of worth to God? Then I asked, what makes someone of worth to me? What makes my wife or my dog or my coming child of worth to me? Is it what people do for me that makes me love them? Well, to some degree I'd be lying if I said what people do for me doesn't please me... but when all is said and done it isn't their services that I treasure the most... it's them. Take my dog for example. He does nothing! He's really, absolutely useless as far as work goes. On a work day (when we are doing work around the house) sometimes I'll hear Lisa say, "too bad Jasper can't do anything". Sometimes I'll jokingly say something like, "Jasper, go get the address book for Lisa out of the office and bring it here... fetch!" When I say his name, his eyes brighten with attention and he looks at me ready and attentive. Then as my sentence grows more complicated his eyes just sort of glaze over and his head drops into a blank stare while he pants. I don't love Jasper because of his usefulness. This much is clear. In fact, mostly all he has are needs that I have to fulfill. But, I suspect it isn't really much different than this between me and God. One thing I love about Jasper's personality is that he loves unconditionally. He holds no grudges. The concept is totally foreign to him. I can chastise him angrily for something he didn't do that I wanted him to and even though he may cower when I am irate, the instant I am quiet again he is ready to come back over and lick me. He is the most loving animal I've known. In a way this is his heart. It defines him to me. Now honestly, if Jasper got rabies and turned mean I would be heart broken, but I think I would still love him. This is primarily because of the relationship I've already had with him in the past. Similarly, I can draw conclusions about worth from my relationship with my wife. I can see that my wife is of utmost importance to me not primarily because of what she does, though she does a great deal for me, but because of who she is... she is mine, and I am hers. We are one, joined by a vow and sealed with a bond of love until death do us part. She may make me angry at times or disappoint me and vice versa, but ultimately we love one another. Really, only by God's grace are we able to have this kind of unconditional lovingness. Because unconditional lovingness is who God is. It's what he is about. It doesn't mean he doesn't care what we do on the contrary he cares immensely! But, it does mean my worth to him is not defined by my ability to perform. After thinking and praying about this I looked over at a Bible this morning and had a longing feeling to open it and read the Words of life there. The Bible came open to Matthew 9:9 and I read through to verse 13. It's a section of scripture entitled, "The calling of Matthew".

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

I thanked the Lord for speaking to my heart on this issue. In faith I accepted this as a direct word from him to me on this. I realized again that God loves me very much and is continually with me listening to my rambling and sometimes wayward thoughts. He's ready and willing to give me an answer or reply if I'll only ask and genuinely look and listen for it.

Anchor for the Soul

Sometimes I begin to experience heartache as I think back on the past. I think this must be a common ailment as you get older. When you're young you don't realize that your life will not always be as it is then and the friends you know and the world you experience and interact with will not last. Knowing this when you are older helps you cherish what you have a bit more I suppose. Although, it can also cheapen what you have when you realize it will be gone before you know it anyway. I am thankful for my wife as I know she is committed to being a part of my world until I die. Although that is a comforting thought, even this is not as guaranteed as I would like. Time grips us all and twists and turns our worlds to ever changing and new environments. In some ways this can be exciting, but in some ways it can be very disconcerting. Relationships are important. They prevent loneliness and are comforting, but I believe they also fulfill a basic human need. I know I've heard that if a baby is left in a room alone for a long enough period without human attention it can die. I mean it can be fed and provided with everything it needs, besides human interaction, but that will not be enough. I suspect there is an intangible thing we describe as love that the child is missing in that environment. This intangible is more than a warm fuzzy, but a necessary component to nourish the human soul. I'm not really sure how hermits do it, but I can say for sure that I would be miserable as a hermit. Ironically though, sometimes I feel as though I am a hermit even in the midst of other people. I believe this is because there is no other human being that I can count on to always be there and always be with me providing me with companionship and love. Not even my wife can fill this bill. I remember a time when I was in college and I lived alone in an apartment. I went home for a summer break and had an incredible time hanging out with old friends and doing fun things with them. Then when I got back to my apartment the contrast of being social to living there alone in that apartment was intense. It took me a while to adjust, but then eventually I grew accustomed to the solitude and it became a lifestyle I was familiar with. In some ways it even became comfortable after a while, but not fulfilling. I'm convinced that good close relationships are a pre-requisite to having a fulfilled joyful life. I watched an episode of Lost on television once where the character named Desmond was mentally torn between two time periods. It was like he was constantly flipping back and forth between them and he eventually had trouble establishing what was real. The solution given to him was that he must find one individual who remained constant throughout both time periods and focus on that individual to serve as an anchor. He managed to reconnect with his past love and to stabilize mentally. I think there have been many points in my life where I have felt like Desmond in some ways. At times it seems as though my heart is torn between two or more time periods. I feel trapped longing for a past that is long gone and will never ever be my present reality again. This death of a sort is painful and I often find myself slipping into a state of grief over it. Realizing that my present reality is just as fleeting as my past one is depressing... But, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever." My faith as a Christian is that there is only one who can truly serve as my anchor in life and that is Jesus Christ. The love I desparately need and the relationship I so deeply crave will only ever be constant and intense enough to meet my needs from Him. As the reality of this truth really sinks in, my desire to know Him and spend time with Him increases exponentially. But, unfortunately there is an enemy who devotes all his efforts toward distracting me from this truth... he is known as the father of lies. There is a verse that says "taste and see that the Lord is good". It is amazing to me that even when I do finally taste and see... and remember that which I already knew... before, that my desire for that goodness only lasts as long as I presently feel that goodness. The moment I no longer feel it, but simply know of it, the desire begins to fade. The farther in time I move from the experience the more my desire fades for it. Ironically this reminds me of addictions. Although generally with them the reverse is true... to a point. But eventually when you get far enough away in time from an addiction even it fades. Oh that Christ would be my never fading addiction! But, this is not how He works. He does not force us to be drawn to Him, yet when we truly embrace Him we cannot help but be drawn to Him. For he is the deepest fulfillment for our souls that they could ever crave. He is the anchor that prevents us from sailing aimlessly adrift in the ocean of time that we experience during our lives. He alone can love me as I long to be loved and care for me as every human being needs to be cared for. I am very thankful for my God and his patience with me through the storms of life. He is continually trying to teach me to trust Him and long for Him even when I don't feel Him. In this world of feelings and instant gratification, it is difficult to discipline our souls to chase after our needs rather than what instantly gratifies. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world."

Joy in Christ

The hole of emptiness in my heart is real and must be filled to have satisfaction.

I look into my past and see all the joys and pains I connected with then. When I say connected I mean part of myself was invested in people and events I shared with people then. It was part of a journey. There were times of fulfillment and times of emptiness. This is the way life seems to be many times.

When I look into the future I am tempted to tremble in fear about what will come, but yet I can also find great hope in the unknown. My present is the tip of reality. It is the "quickening" of perception. I long for peace and joy and fulfillment and intimacy.


"Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

"For my body is real food and my blood real drink."

"Remain in me."

"For I am living water. He who drinks of me will never thirst. For it will be like a well of water overflowing."


Intimacy with my God comes only from one place and that is my heart. The affections of my heart must be for my God and I must worship Him in sincerity and in truth. In spirit and in truth I worship. For it is only by this kind of worship that I can truly be intimate with Him and know Him. This is when the filling of that empty hole in my heart occurs.

In the past I've considered logic and emotion as two halves of my psyche. I've heard it argued that maybe they are really the same or at the very least inseparable. Why would I even care to pursue logic without emotion driving me to care? Many times I've found logic an enemy of my soul. It has not been from founded logical arguments so much, but rather simply from the process of a cold analytical mind systematically dissecting my comprehension and my grounds for the source of joy and life I've found in Christ. C.S. Lewis says the quickest way to kill joy is to begin to analyze it. This is true. Joy cannot be experienced at the same time as the analytical mood of seeking or skepticism prevails. Joy is experienced through faith.

This thing we call emotion is really a manifestation of the state of our hearts. If we were completely and totally emotionless would we be alive? Perhaps it might be possible to exist, but not to live if you know what I mean. For life, true fulfilled life requires feeling. Even furthermore, it requires a sort of joy. For a life with no joy leads to destruction. Many times people who don't have joy or know where it is or if it will come, simply hold on and wait. I know I have found myself holding on and waiting before. Yet joy is right here in my very heart in the living water of Jesus Christ. Oh how I long to truly understand and know Him and be filled with the joy that is in Him. How I long to embody that joy and shine as a light on a hill. I want to share that light with those I love and humanity in general. For this is His desire for me too.

Our enemy strives to cut us off from this intoxicating joy that we have in Him. For if he succeeds in cutting us off or maybe only in suspending us from it for a time he renders us ineffective and devastated whether we comprehend it or not. When in this
state our hearts can only hold out for so long and eventually they will go in search of fulfillment. This fulfillment may not be sought in Christ and if it isn't then we will have latched on to sweet and tasty poison that kills slowly and satisfies only enough to make us come back to it for more. This is a picture of typical addiction. Ironically Jesus fills us completely and totally with true life and joy like nothing else, yet we cannot seem to find ourselves addicted to His love. But when we do experience Him through praise and worship and our eyes are opened, we realize what fools we were and are whenever we leave his presence.

"It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men." --C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

I find it interesting to note when Jesus taught us to pray. In the Lord's Prayer it begins with praise and ends with praise. I believe everything we do should begin with praise and end with praise. Praise and worship bonds us to Him through faith and releases this joy I've been talking about... almost like a chemical reaction. It is almost a recipe for joy: worship of Christ in spirit and truth through faith. When we worship from our hearts, God visits our hearts. Now express this love in love to others. Show others love and joy from the joy and love He fills you with and you will practically burst into overflowing. When the well feels dry don't look elsewhere. Always discipline yourself to keep your gaze afixed on Him.

Be joyful always. Pray continually. 1 Thes. 5:17

Listening to Voices in the Heart

  Sometimes when thinking about spiritual things I find myself tempted with a small voice in the back of my head saying, "What if this is really the way things are?" as an alternate and unscriptural view of reality is suggested to my heart. For example a common suggestion like this that comes to my mind is that maybe although Christians have a view of reality that God is answering prayer this is just a perception and really things just happened to work out the way you prayed. Or if things didn't go according to how you prayed then you think of it as though God had other plans or maybe that you are just going through a time of testing where you have to just hang on and have faith. The nagging suggestion in my mind says maybe in reality things just didn't go like you hoped and God's will wasn't a factor, in fact maybe there is no God. This thought or voice when it comes to my mind is quickly dismissed and pushed away. In fact sometimes I find myself carefully avoiding a fully focused attention on these ideas. Why? Because they are so contrary to the Word of God and the core of my Christian faith. These ideas completely remove God from the picture and place chance as a new god in His place. I think it makes sense that my initial reaction as a Christian would be to push these ideas away as they try to press into my heart, however I began to realize that the best way to eliminate these is to stop running from them and turn and face them.

  First of all consider the complexity of the universe and of our human bodies and of DNA and the cell. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to rationally realize our single planet Earth teeming with amazingly complex life and no other planet even remotely like it as far as the eye or computer aided telescope can see is not something that could just occur by chance. When you begin to study on the topic of the chances for life to spontaneously exist it quickly becomes obvious that it is beyond absurd to believe that things just happened to fall into place for us. Maybe we could reason that the universe is infinitely large and that in an infinite playing field every possibility that could be is. (By the way most scientists would probably dismiss this idea, because if there were infinite amounts of matter the planetary bodies would not behave as they do. Stephen Hawking and other scientists seem to think our universe is likely in the shape of a giant horse's saddle. Even if we do allow for this, what was the initiator of time and reality? It is not logical to assume things just are and always will be.) Although we can already see that we are stretching our minds beyond common every day human reason to some grandiose philosophical idea for the purpose of what? Eliminating a creator from the picture? Why are we so anxious to dismiss the most obvious answer to this question? There is a creator God who made it all! The reason is because this is a religious answer and it comes with the potential for a whole slew of spiritual ideas and commitments. Some people just feel more comfortable thinking of the world as a Creator-less place. Keep in mind I am not trying to prove Christianity or any other religious idea here, but simply point out that it is a rational theory for one to hold. In fact it seems more rational to me than others.

  When it comes down to it, what anyone believes is a decision of faith. Faith is influenced by logical rational discernible factors, but ultimately what to believe is a decision by the believer. So, maybe when the suggestion or voice enters my mind indicating that the hand of God is really just a silly perceived reality that Christians make things out to be and the real reality is chance I can turn the tables with reason and faith now. By doing this I can understand that probably more likely is that much of the world has a percieved reality that the world is a place of chance, but the real reality is that there is a creator God who governs and listens and interacts with the creation.

Romans 1:20
  For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.


  Something I've been studying and learning about recently is the voice or communication of God to his people. After reading a book by Kevin Harney called Seismic Shifts in chapter six I saw where he talks about the common perception Christians have regarding their relationship, interaction and communication with God.
He points out that the majority of Christians pray and expect God hears them, but do not consider God as one that commonly or frequently speaks back to them. Something I found fascinating was when he pointed out that hearing God speak takes just as much faith as believing God hears you when you speak to him. "They are two sides of the same coin.", he said. He pointed out that many people perceive God's communication to them in different ways. Some hear God speak with their ears, others with their heart and still other by divine nudges. All of these require faith to be believed as communication from God to you. Why would the loving father God we read about in the Bible not speak to His children?

John 10:3-5
  The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice.

  In fact I believe the nagging voice in the back of my mind that I feared to confront for a time and mentioned at the beginning of this entry is most likely the voice of my enemy that the Bible speaks of. It is the stranger's voice. Although, I did not perceive it as anything other than my own idea at first. Many times I think when the Lord speaks as well I consider it my own idea, when in reality it was Him all along who gave me the thought. A lot of times in cartoons you will see the little angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other trying to whisper things in a cartoon character's ear and persuade him to do or think one thing or another. Although, we may associate this idea with cartoons and things that are whimsical which are not usually true, I believe there is truth in this picture. The Lord speaks to our hearts just as the stranger's voice may speak. But His sheep know His voice and follow Him. Believing that you hear the Lord's voice when He speaks is a matter of faith. Since I am speaking about the heart I am going to list my idea about what the heart is... Obviously your physical heart is an organ and nothing, but blood pumping happens there. But, I think the proverbial heart is much more than just my mind, brain or the place where thinking occurs. The heart is at the core of who you are physically. The proverbial heart is at the core of who you are as a whole person including spiritually, mentally and physically.

Definition of the "heart":
heart = place of: believed truths, thoughts, ways of thinking, desires and beliefs that I hold most dear, the core of who I am, what I passionately love or hate is dealt with and perceived here

It is in this core that notions or ideas to believe are proposed to me. Sometimes the ideas come from my own reasoning, sometimes from the Lord and still other times from a stranger. As children of God we must learn to listen to God's still small voice in our hearts or wherever it may reveal itself to our attentions. But perceiving a revelation as one from God always requires faith, just as believing I can pray to God and he will hear me does.

  I've also been reading a fascinating and exciting book by T.D. Jakes called "Overcoming the Enemy" that I recommend. T.D. Jakes carefully examines Ephesians 6 in this book and points out that in order to stand your ground against the enemy there are some basic core pieces of spiritual armor that you must wear to be prepared to face him. One of these basic pieces of armor is simple faith that God is who He says He is and is capable of what He says He is in the Word. As Christians we've already considered rationally and logically whether it is plausible or not to believe chance or some other thing as god or the Lord told of in the Bible as God and we've made our choice. Now is the time to mature and move forward and not continually revisit the very foundational things we stand on in faith. If we face the enemy in battle and we are busy studying our foundation instead of standing on it he will quickly knock us down for sure. Stop doubting and believe! You must if you want to stand and fight the tempter and enemy of our souls.

Knowing Jesus

What does it mean to know Jesus? You hear people say you need a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. And "do you know him?" Many times people answer, "oh yeah I know him! I'm a Christian. Woo hoo praise God!", but don't have the slightest idea what it means. It's really a bit of a difficult concept especially for someone who doesn't "know him". But from what I can tell, like most everything, our ability to really know him is based in our faith. Knowing Jesus, at first starts with believing what the Bible says about him. It's about believing what the Bible says about who He is.. his character, his love for you, his power, his authority and all his attributes. And then most importantly, believing that he is with you right now this very moment... that he always was and always will be with you. Not looking at you from over a cloud off in the distance, but inhabiting you. Living in your very heart. And if he isn't in your heart, if you simply invite him to be there... he will come. When he comes he begins to convict you to change things. He wants you to do things His way. The Bible tells us (Luke 9:23) if anyone would come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. By nature (flesh nature) we naturally desire to have OUR way in everything. When we don't get our way we believe we are miserable and in some form or fashion tend to express pouting. But as we learn to live with Jesus inhabiting our hearts we begin to have a new nature. This nature is referred to as the spirit nature. Our spiritual nature desires to have things God's way. Not because he is some oppressor over us forcing us to do things his way, but because we realize that his way is really better. As we learn to trust in who the Bible says he is and how wise and loving he is we also realize he has our best interests at heart. Much like how an earthly father usually is with their children. Knowing Jesus involves simply believing who he is according to what the Bible reveals and who he is according to what he reveals to you. This second part doesn't really come that much until you begin praying to him. The amount of prayer in your life is directly proportional to how well you really "know" Jesus. As you pray you form a concept in your mind of God and who he is, and what his character is. Then you try to relate to him with words. You try to communicate your thoughts and feelings and understanding of things to him. Why? Because this is what anyone does when they want to know someone else! They try to communciate to them with words. The next vital part of any relationship is for you to listen to the other person you are trying to know. Now if someone told me a statue could talk and I walked up to it and started talking to it... and then tried to listen to it, finally giving up saying, "oh well I guess it doesn't really talk." What was the problem? Most likely because deep down I really couldn't get past the fact that I believe it is impossible for statues to talk. Knowing Jesus involves believing that something is possible which the world will say is impossible. Until you truly believe that God can and does communicate to you specifically, you will never be able to hear him. So you say, "what if I don't know?" What if I just really am having a hard time believing this? It seems so ludicrous. God uses foolish things to shame and elude the worldly wise. (1 Cor. 1:27) The best thing to do first is simply pray about something. Don't necessarily ask for a new Porsche and wait to see if the car will appear on your driveway. But you could ask for a new Porsche and wait to see how God responds. If you continue praying about something over time and seeking an answer from the Lord as a person that gives replies to questions and requests, eventually you will see or hear or feel his response. He communicates in many different ways. Next... keep a prayer journal. As soon as you feel God has communicated to you about something in some way. Write it down. Write down in a journal prayers that you are praying now and leave space to fill in how you feel God has answered that prayer later. Over time your journal will serve as a testimony to you and build faith for you in Him. "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him". (Heb. 11:6) One thing I've learned over time is that when a Christian sins he or she tends to push away their belief in the fact that God is always with them and in their very heart and sees and knows things just as they do. Because when you truly believe that God is with you and watching you and is as close to you as you are to your own reflection when you stand face to face with your self gazing in the mirror. It becomes extremely difficult to sin. At least if you truly love him it does. And the more you know about him and come to know of him firsthand from experiences the more you begin to love him and realize how much he loves you. There are many things that people believe in without fully understanding how it is possible. People don't always understand aerodynamics and how a plane could really fly yet they get on them. I'm reminded of a scene from Planet of the Apes where one of the leader Apes is handed a paper airplane that the man had created claiming that it could fly. The ape looked at it and thought about it for a second and then proclaimed, 'that's ridiculous' and waded the paper airplane up in his hand into a paper wad and dropped it on the floor. There is a Bible verse that says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good". This verse encourages you to try it and then you will find your evidence that the Lord is good. The ape could never watch that paper plane fly until he first believed it was possible or at least might be possible. People don't completely understand automobiles, computers, VCRs DVD players and microwaves but they use them. Oh yeah we have a general understanding of what is happening, or at least what people say is happening but we don't neccesarily fully understand it. If we got really interested in how it worked we could ask someone we saw as an expert on it and then try to study books others have written on the subject. The same is true about trying to understand how one can know God. It's also possible to know God without really understanding how it's possible to know God. Just as you can push start on a microwave and watch it cook your food without understanding how. But if you thought the idea ridiculous you would never put your food in there and press start. Even if somone else did it and said, "look see!", without belief you would try to explain the effects some other way. Belief is a requirement to even entertain the idea. If I decided before I try to use a microwave that I wanted to understand it so I go to school and study it. Then I get frustrated because it is just more complicated than I have the ability to completely understand right now and I realize I need more school and more study. If I let my lack of ability to understand it become a prerequisite for using it then there would be many things like it that I would have to miss out on. There are things we believe because of faith in ourselves and things we believe because of faith in others. Ultimately even faith in ourselves plays a role in choosing to have faith in others. There is a famous phrase from Des Cartes "I think therefore I am". Although after giving this some thought I think a better statement would be "I believe therefore I am". Belief is the foundation of knowledge. So my point here is that understanding is not the foundation of knowledge, but belief is... and that it is possible to believe without understanding everything. Even the things we do understand about life and the world, we understand by faith in our own ability to perceive what is true and what is false. So if I tell you there is a great cosmic microwave that you can use if you just believe, you would probably laugh. But more accurately I might say there is a friend that you can know who's name is Jesus even though you cannot see him with your eyeballs, you can and will learn to see him with your heart over time IF you believe that you can. Why does this seem to sound really cheesy at some level kind of like Christmas stories that say Santa will come if you just believe in the spirit of Christmas? Or some silly children's gag. This is related to the fact that we are in a world at war and that there are spiritual forces who would love for you to believe that the idea of knowing Jesus is as silly as believing in Santa Claus or fairies. But unlike these mythical things we have first hand testimonies from people today as well as written words in the Bible from verifiably not really that long ago of people who have known and trusted Jesus. But ultimately whether or not you yourself can know Jesus is a matter of whether you are willing to choose to believe in the possiblity of knowing him. You may argue isn't it just a state of mind then? But, really, knowing anything is just a state of mind.
The definition of your mind's state is directly related to what you've chosen to believe as truth (aka "world view"). Do you really know your mother or wife or is it just a figment of your imagination. Are you just having some amazingly detailed and realistic hallucination? If you really began to believe that how would it affect how you began to relate to your wife or mother? Isn't it true that eventually over time you wouldn't have much of a "relationship" at all but rather you would quite likely try to ignore them. Why is this? Because deep down you don't really believe that what you see and experience with them is the truth. You don't believe it is real. In the same way you must truly believe Jesus is real to have relationship with him and know him. How do we decide who to trust? We decide based on how trustworthy they have been to us and continue to be. The same is true with Jesus. "It is impossible for God to lie." (Heb 6:18) The Bible and Christians communicate a message of hope to the world. They communicate a testimony of a man named Jesus whom all have an opportunity to know, if they are willing to believe.

"...we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf." (Heb 6:18b-20a)


Matthew 11:27-28 (words of Jesus)
"All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Spritual Discipline

There are times when we get really excited or at least expectant about things. Then when things don't go the way we expected or hoped we can get really put out. Its this point at which you are "put out", "hacked off" or "ticked" that the enemy has found fertile soil for sin. Especially when this frustration is selfish in that it is about not receiving some form of expected self-gratification. Disappointment is common and when mixed with focus on it can result in a powerful force toward sin. Our focus is like a fire and there are many fuels. You've heard the expression "food for thought". Any thing that can entertain our mind or be "food for thought" is a fuel for our focus. The reason I chose fire for the analogy here is that fire has this uncanny property of increasing instantly in proportion to the amount of available flammable materials nearby. It also follows after them unrelentingly. Sometimes I grow very frustrated about "rabbit-trails", although I tend to be a cheif offender in following them. This is a term that symbolizes the many possibilities or roads of thoughts and contemplations that can be followed during a discussion or personal meditation. Meditation is a vital skill for a Christian to learn and I have been struggling to understand it. It is about learning to let go of focus on some things while holding on to focus on others. It is about directing the fire of our thoughts to consume only certain fuels while determinedly avoiding others. The irony here is that if you focus on how you don't want to focus on something you are in fact focusing on the thing! Sometimes avoiding a "rabbit-trail" is not just about ignoring it, but intentionally following an entirely different one while truly letting go of the first. "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" the saying goes. If you only resist focus on something, but are idle in actively focusing on something else your efforts will not only be futile but in fact have the exact opposite effect than the one you desired. I've been reading a book by Richard Foster called "Celebration of Discipline". It is an excellent book. One analogy he uses in teaching about spiritual disciplines is that Christian life is like trying to walk down a narrow road with a steep drop off on either side. The drop off to the right is symbolic of putting forth great effort to try and do what's right. The problem is you will never be able to put forth enough effort to be righteous. This is what the Pharisees tried to do. The drop off to the left is symbolic of complacency or not putting forth any effort to be righteous due to a realization that any effort is futile. The narrow road down the middle is symbolic of a life-style of spiritual discipline practiced not for the purpose of being righteous, but rather for the purpose of creating the right conditions where God might choose to give you the grace of blessing you with his indwelling Spirit and grant you with fruits of the Spirit (peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc.). In his book Foster also refers to our hearts like a garden. In a garden you don't ever force a plant into growing by sheer effort or will power, but rather you tend to the environmental conditions of the garden in hopes that this will foster growth of a plant that will one day yield tasty fruits. It is the same with the heart and God's Spirit is the plant. Maintaining focus on the right things is vital to meditation and it is vital to creating the right environmental conditions for Spiritual growth. It is also vital to appropriately handling disappointment. The ability to handle disappointment is really the majority of what is involved in having faith. Although that is not all it is. The most important element of faith is that one believes and fixes their hope and focus on the thing hoped for continually trusting that it will come about despite disappointments which seem to test the faith. The problem is often times we set our faith on things that have no guarantees. If I go on vacation to Florida with visions of sunny beaches in my head and when I arrive a horrendous hurricane shows up my expectations are dashed. The faith I had placed in the joy I would find in Florida was unguaranteed. In my disappointment at not having the self-gratification of enjoying the dream I had in my mind of what things would be like it is quite common to seek after something else for gratification and find one's self in sin. The key here is to take gratification in something else, but the refuge must be taken in something that IS guaranteed. Only the promises of God are truly guaranteed. Intimacy with God through worship and faith placed in Him is the best way of coping with disappointment. (This is what David did after petitioning and being denied when God did not allow his son by Bathsheba to live.) Sexual intimacy of a husband and wife in marriage in the physical realm is analagous to intimacy found in worship between man and God in the spiritual realm. Although the physical example is but a dim reflection compared to the depth and intensity of the spiritual one with God through Christ. Christian meditation is not only about knowing how to hold on to good thoughts while rejecting bad ones or about tending to the spiritual garden of your heart, but it is also about listening to God and obeying Him when he speaks to you. This is something that must happen daily. Jesus said we must deny ourselves take up our crosses daily and follow him. This means we don't live life indulging in all kinds of self gratification, but rather we focus on the gratification that comes in following Him over time and deny ourselves the instant gratifications that the world tries to offer in exchange. When taking a shower this morning I began to think about how it is necessary to take physical showers frequently to clean the body. Sometimes I don't feel like taking a shower because I am lazy, but if I don't I will get filthier and filthier over time. If that happens a single shower may not be enough to clean myself back to the way I was before. The same is true for the spiritual realm. We need to take spiritual showers daily as well. If we don't spend time in meditiation on Him, striving to listen to Him and obey what he says to us each day then over time we get filthier and filthier in our callousedness and worldliness. At that point one day when we decide to try and spiritually shower to clean off it will not be enough to clean us and restore us to the way we might have been before. Only over time after adopting a lifestyle of cleaning oneself can the desired state of cleanliness be achieved. This is why we persevere and press on toward the goal to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us. He took hold of us so that we might be the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus and have spiritual intimacy with the almighty God... So that our very hearts might be a temple and a place for the Holy of Holies. So, tend to the garden of your heart and seek to make it a place for the Holy of Holies by diligent bathing through meditation on Him and His word daily. Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

Relationship with God

I've been reading a book about hearing from God. In thinking about this subject and praying I've begun realizing the most important factor in hearing from God is listening for him and recognizing his voice or communication. Furthermore, in order to listen and recognize it helps immensely when you have been praying to Him in faith and speaking to him from your heart. It tunes your heart and mind to the Lord's frequency if you will. Jesus spent the night with the Lord in prayer. All night long he was praying. So often I will find myself convicted that I need to pray more and so I will say a few sentences, a paragraph of words or maybe a page length of prayer to God and then... be done. After I finish praying, once I've said 'Amen' my mind tends to start shutting Him out again. Paul said that we should 'Pray continually.' (1 Thes. 5:17) It's hard for me to understand how to do that. I have great trouble with multi-tasking sometimes, because I have never been able to focus on more than one thing at a time, in fact I wonder if anyone really can. Another concept of multi-tasking is to keep switching from task to task focusing on each one periodically rather than the idea of focusing on all the tasks simultaneously. This seems more realistic, however I think what Paul/(God.. aka. God's revelation to Paul) had in mind was different from each of these two ideas. I think it was more like a colored lens that filters light. There's a phrase about looking at things through rose colored glasses. It refers to people who only see good things even when times are tough and might be seen as bad to someone else. I think this analogy can also be used here in that when we live life we see all things whether good, bad or neutral with a perspective of God and his hand in them. We should see everything in life through the lens of how it relates to our personal God. That is, we should see life through God-colored glasses if you will. Praying is more than just speaking a sentence of communication to God in your mind or aloud. Praying is about focus. The idea of focus has been a fascination of mine for some time now. The Bible speaks of the power of the tongue. Which I agree it is powerful. However, the focus of one's mind seems to me to be the precursor of the tongue. A person's focus is a seed for actions. My friend and youth leader when I was growing up, Roc Moore, used to say "what a mind thinks on, it will seek to act out". Dreams are fantasies that have the capacity to capture hearts. Sometimes they are grandiose fantasies, sometimes they are simple. Dreams are dangerous because they can be deceptions. But good dreams, dreams that are true can be an anchor for our souls. What I mean by this is that a useful tool in fixing our eyes on Jesus and focusing our minds through God-colored lenses is to hold onto the dream or picture of reality that the Bible paints for us. When we realize that the truths taught to us and promises given us in the Word are more than just exciting stories but an actual reality, then our dream can become to see those truths fulfilled in our lives. Then we can strive to let that dream capture our hearts. I am striving to hold onto the dream of intimacy with a personal God. The Bible speaks of many stories where God had a personal relationship with individual human beings. I believe each person should seek out fulfillment of a dream to have relationship with our loving God. In Jer 29:13 it says, "You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart." My problem and the problem of many I suppose is to not be whole-hearted and persistent in my seeking. This comes from not truly having a dream a.k.a. a heart for this reality of intimacy with God to exist.

Joy in Jesus

As I was praising the Lord this morning during my shower I began to have a realization about life, God, the devil and man. I realized who my greatest enemy in life is. The devil, demons and forces of darkness sound horrible and frightening and they are, but they are not my greatest enemy. The greatest enemy has always been myself. I used to often wonder why God put us here on this world. God wanted relationship with man, an awesome indescribable relationship of love between God and man. However, in order for this to happen man would have to choose to want God and God would have to choose to want man. Without these two voluntary elements the relationship is contrived and cannot truly exist. So, God made the world and setup this thing we know as life for man to have. Life and the things that transpire during it happen according to cold, hard, rigid laws. There is room for great joys and peace as well as great tragedies and torment. The purpose of this hostile environment is for man to meet God and for a relationship between them to be fostered. The kind of man that rejects God and desires to be wicked has made his choice and God will respect it, because any other relationship with that man would be contrived and not real. But this wicked man is evil and must be apart from God forever. But the man who hopes in the Lord and clings to him has found the purpose of his existence and has fulfilled God's highest hopes for him. To him the trials and burdens of this life are nothing but minor troubles. In other words they are "light and momentary troubles which are achieving an eternal glory that far outweighs them all". Because these very troubles that we generally consider bad are actually being used to present us with situations where we must choose whether to cling more tightly to God through them or not. This is why James writes "Consider it pure joy when you encounter trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything". In Isaiah it says, "Those who hope in the Lord will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint". This is because our strength and our joy is in our hope in the Lord who is able to meet all our needs and carry us through to the end. God has such a powerful furious love for man that we can hardly comprehend it. He even sent his son on the cross to pay for our wicked mistakes and ways that we might still have a chance at being with him! God always loves us, even the lost ones that have chosen the way of wickedness, but not their wicked ways. If you begin to express love toward God that is genuine and set your focus on him in this way he will reciprocate and you will have a revelation of his love for you as well. This is why the scriptures say "You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13).

I have never really liked rain at all. It is just so dark and melancholy and wet. :) I like sunshine much better, for it is like joy and fun. This morning there is a heavy dark rain. I realize though that even when there is heavy dark rain in life, when I cling to Christ, there will always be a bright warm sunshine in my heart. (I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but it really is so true.) This is in fact the key to making it through life. This is the highest hope God has for us is to cling to him through the darkness trusting that he will see us through. The process of going through it strengthens our ability to hold on to Him and results in growth of our relationship with Him.

The most dangerous enemy we have is our own neglect of God over time. No matter how intense the fire of an enemy that is brought to our door, our God is able and willing to fight it back for us on one condition. That is that we cling to him through it and trust him for the help. This very trial achieves for us a closer bond with God which is worth more than silver or gold. Jesus is our high priest, our friend, our King and the sacrifice for our sins. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. No one comes to the father, but through him. He is our light and our salvation in this dark world. Sometimes we forget God until there is pain in our lives and then we try to ask for his help and be buddy buddy with him. He still loves us and will use that to draw us, but how much better when we have already been hoping in him and loving him before the trial. In some ways it seems that all of life is a trial. There is no drug, no friendship, no relationship, no food, time of sleep, television show/movie or amusement park roller coaster ride that can ever fulfill my heart like I deeply long for it to be filled. There is only one satisfaction for my soul and it is through the love of God and intimacy of his Holy Spirit living in me made possible by Christ and his sacrifice for me on the cross! My hope is always and forever in Him. Our doubt is really and always has been the only true enemy for us. When we doubt his love, his ability to deliver us, his big plan that is in place for the world, his existence or anything that is true about him we lose our connection with him. For connection in relationships is built on trust. And that is what we must have... a relationship with the living God. That is what our souls long for and will never be truly satisfied until they find. This connection to Jesus we have is our strength, our authority, our power, our love and our joy.

Lies and Camping

I've been thinking about the tree of knowledge of good and evil and about John 8:32. John 8:32 says you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. I am perplexed by sin. You would think if Adam and the human race gained this knowledge then we would know more truth and therefore be more free. Yet it seems that things became much worse after more knowledge came. It also seems ironic to me that the serpent was trying so desperately to use deception on Adam and Eve into gaining the knowledge of good and evil. Deception seems to be our enemy's most famous tactic yet the father of lies was trying to trick Adam and Eve into knowing truth. Because with knowledge comes truth. However, then I realized the devil was showing them the law. The wicked beauty of the thing to him was that not only was he tricking them into disobeying God and into following the evil desires forming in their hearts, but also the moment they bit into the forbidden fruit they would simultaneously know the law and already have broken it beyond repair. Knowledge of the law is a kind of truth, but there is more truth that needs to be known to be truly free. Knowing the law for Adam and Eve as well as for us now means being aware of your own wickedness. I believe I was thinking about John 8:32 out of context at first though. If you consider John 8:31 with it Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." Jesus' truth was that the only way out of the devious trap laid by our enemy and that we ensnared ourselves in from the beginning was from God. More precisely, that the culmination of God's plan for our freedom was realized in Christ himself and his sacrifice for us. Only when we hold to his teaching will we live in an awareness of the truth that frees us. Old Testament heroes of the faith didn't know about Jesus yet, but they did realize this truth that their only hope from the condemnation in the law hanging over them was in God.

I find Jesus' statement interesting that the way to really know the truth is to hold to his teaching. So, if you hold to his teaching you will know truth which will set you free thereby giving you more strength and ability to hold to his teaching. The more ability to hold to his teaching you have the more you will be able to know truth. This describes the process of faith. It grows in degree incrementally. But ironically you must take hold of one (or both) to get a grip on the other and start the cycle of faith growing. Either you believe the truth and begin holding to his teaching or you begin holding to his teaching to see if it yields knowledge of the truth. Either way at some point you must have some faith to get more.

Lies are downright mean. In fact quite often they are more than mean, they can be cruel. The cruelty lies in the fact that a liar tricks the deceived into a false hope. He leads them into a faith based on ideas that simply aren't true. In a way it is a betrayal of the deceived's trust in the deceiver. Betrayal is at the heart of every lie and I believe is the real core of wickedness and treachery. I suppose that is why Judas' sin was so intense. He betrayed the savior from betrayal as well as all sin. You could say betrayal is fueled by selfishness, but really I don't think it is wrong to want good things for your self. The real evil is to trust a deceiver that leads you to think you can get good things for yourself by viewing everything in life through a self-centric lens and giving in to a lifestyle of selfishness. Our enemy the devil specializes in raw deals a.k.a. lies. He is also often stealthy enough to make us think his proposals were really our own thoughts and ideas. Granted we do have evil desires living in our fleshly bodies and these desires are sometimes the culprit behind sin, but you can bet that anytime we even remotely begin to toy with an evil desire the enemy or an agent of his is there trying to foster it and sometimes encourage it into existence. Imagination is the part of us that dreams about things that may or may not be true. It is the seed of hope and faith or worry and fear. You begin to believe what you imagine either is true and/or possible or very likely will be. Any sin begins with an imagination that dreams of what things will be like when the sinful thing is done and the dream is always a lie. What makes the dream and sin so deviously cruel and treacherous though, is that often times even after the sin has been committed we fail to see the lie and go on believing that the pleasure we found in the act of disobedience was a fulfillment of the dream we held in our imagination enabling us to want to do it again. Yet what we don't realize, the truth our enemy craftily shades us from, is that with each consecutive sin we slowly destroy our very hearts piece by piece until at some point we can't even recognize the wickedness and death it is so disgustingly full of. His highest hope for us is that we will go to our graves completely deceived having lost sight of the truth of the wickedness, pain, death and eternal condemnation that goes along with disobedience to God.

I can't figure out if I like camping or not. I know my wife really loves it and I have found enjoyment in it too at times. But there are also times when I don't enjoy it as much. It occurs to me that when we go camping we are no longer at home and we no longer have the comforts of home. I have to sleep on a bed that is less desirable than the one at home and I have to eat food that is different from the kind I would have at home. But at the same time I find that in that new environment I am a little closer to God's creation and often things are a bit quieter. It is more secluded which sometimes seems undesirable, but after a time of being there can seem desirable. The hypnotic dance of the flames in the campfire often lure my mind into a meditative state and sometimes I will begin to sing praises to my God there and remember who I am. I realize that in this world we are camping. Our home is in heaven and the comforts of that heavenly home will be great. They will be much greater than this world we camp out in for now. Paul refers to our earthly bodies as tents. Sometimes we forget that this world is just a campground and that the comforts our hearts long for are at home. Sometimes appreciating comforts of home only comes when we leave them and we never really have a comfort until we truly appreciate it.

Hope

Sometimes I get so discouraged. I find myself longing for something better. I had high hopes for this new year... I still do I suppose. But, I just seem to have no self-discipline. I realize spending time with the Lord, seeking, praying to and worshiping him is something that has the greatest affect cumulatively and when practiced consistently. It is like exercising. Working out once in a while and hoping to become buff is futile. It's like sporadically dieting every now and then when the thought occurs to you that you're fat rather than consistently following a plan and sticking to it. So it is with one's walk with the Lord through life. A man's focus defines the man. As a man thinks in his heart so is he. (Prov. 23:7) Focus is so powerful and sometimes so hard to control. Like the grip of emotion in a sad song, a man's focus can be latched to negativity or despair. Each previous thought or note leads into the next. We are creatures with moods and associative minds. Each idea somehow leading to the next. Randomness in a discussion is often thought odd or funny and seldom is it truly random. Our thoughts flow like a river through mud, creating gullies over time that become harder and harder to escape. Part of being a Christian is having a new way of thinking. Do everything without complaining or arguing. (Phil. 2:14) Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Phil. 4:8) Negativity, hopelessness, despair and faithlessness are all wicked and from the evil one. Following these gullies in the mud is a way of darkness and ultimately death. But fixing our minds and hearts on whatever is true, lovely and pure as Phil. 4:8 says is a way of joy and life and light. I remember when I was first taking cello lessons, my cello teacher used to get upset with me for practicing something he hadn't shown me how to do yet. The problem was I would try it, but do it all wrong and then practice it that way. The more I practiced it the deeper ingrained it would become in me to play the song the wrong way. So it is with life and God. We need him to teach us how to play the songs we face when living in various situations. We need to learn how to play them right and once we know, practice them correctly and daily. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor. 10:5 Our thoughts are precious and our enemy knows this. If he controls or sways our thinking he controls us and possibly even our destiny. (This is why television programs exhibiting the worldly culture and way of thinking often even only on a subconscious level are so powerful and dangerous.) Learning to recognize a negative, faithless, hopeless, worried or despairing thought and rebuke it replacing it with a faithful thought rooted in our commitment to believing in God, his love and saving power is vital to walking in the Spirit as Christians. Trying to do this on your own is dangerous as well. Though God does not magically change us and our lifestyles when we become Christians, he offers us all the tools and help we need to do it. As long as I am pressing on and trying to be His and live His way trusting him for the rest, he will cover the rest for me. Because he is faithful and he is love.

Predestination

I came across an article recently by William Lane Craig presenting the idea of Molinism which I found interesting. Basically, Molinism is the idea that given all the possible realities that might have existed if various choices and circumstances had been put into place and set into motion with man's free-will in full operation, God examined all these and chose the best one to be the actual reality.

I think Molinism is a nice way to approach the idea of how God might have decided to make things the way they are, but still doesn't address what I have always seen as the most pressing issue which is the relationship of God's and man's responsibility to choice. If God is sovereign or does any kind of predestination at all on what men will choose which the Bible clearly indicates that he does (even if he chooses a particular set of choices that I might have chosen to be the ones that I actually choose as Molinism indicates) then isn't God really the one doing the choosing and not man? How can we escape the idea of being robotic drones with only an illusion of choice in our lives?

After thinking about this I came up with a way of understanding simultaneous predestination and free-will that I think makes sense. I believe to comprehend predestination, free-will and who the Bible says God is in relation to this we must rid ourselves of the idea of singular ownership of choice. God and man have shared ownership of choice with moral statuses attributed independently not to the choice, but to the choosers. So, a choice exists that was made by person X and is owned by person X as well as by God. There is no moral status that can be attributed to the choice in and of itself, but rather a moral status regarding the choice is attributed to the choosers of it. The moral status attributed to God is always good, but the one attributed to the person is sometimes good and sometimes evil. God's act of ordaining the choice does not mean the person loses responsibility for the moral status attributed to him or her in relation to it. This is precisely because of the existence of a dual ownership of the choice. While the choice can be attributed to two owners the moral status of the owners is in relation to their motives for the choice. This idea of dual ownership of choice is made possible because of two different perspectives of reality that are involved here.

God and man have different perceptions of reality and in a sense can be said to live in two different realities, although I think more accurately we might say that their is one reality which God has a perfect ultimate and infinite perception of and which we only have a limited perception of. From now on however, I will refer to God's reality meaning his unique infinitely perfect and all-knowing perspective of it and our reality as man's limited view of it. Though we can come to somewhat of an understanding regarding the shape of God's reality we can never actually enter into it ourselves. One of the things that defines God's reality as it is, is his ability to perceive the particulars of fates which he has predestined for men and all things. Though we in our human reality can understand that he knows these particulars, we can never ourselves know them until they have actually occurred for us. It is precisely our lack of knowledge that enables the reality we live in to have the shape that it has. So, in other words the existence of free-will for us is dependent on our lack of knowledge regarding the particulars of our ultimate fate.

I can become consumed with the idea that all actions are futile, because of a false perception that I understand my fate. However, because I don't know my fate I can pray for God to change some circumstance I see in the world or in my life and then in my reality I can perceive God answering that prayer as though my original perception of the fate of this circumstance had been altered, however in God's reality the overall fate of that situation remained the same from beginning to end outside of time despite my lack of knowledge concerning the particulars of it. It is this lack of knowledge in us that makes our free-will possible. Granted we have a perception of free-will, but this perception is more than just a simpleton's deception it is an actual inescapable reality for us that God intended for us to live in. We know this because we are told that we will be held responsible for the choices we make according to this perception of free-will that we have and live in. If God is solely responsible for choices we make then punishing or rewarding us for them contradicts the justice attributed to him in the Bible. Christ sacrificed himself for the world. God wouldn't ordain this to happen for something that is a mere illusion. Clearly, our choices are real and the consequences for our choices are very real. So, the moral status attributed to us and judgement due us because of it in regards to the choices we've made are dependent and directly related to our motives and perception in the reality we live in made possible by our lack of knowledge regarding the particulars of fate. God is responsible for our choices in relation to his reality and motives which are ultimately good. Nothing I do can change what God has fated to happen to me. My choices in life are decided by God in one sense and by me in another. One choice, with two choosers. Although it may be difficult to see immediately how a clearly evil choice that I choose to make could ever have been chosen by God we know that all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. (Our ability to judge the over-all goodness or evilness of a choice especially with respect to God in his infinite all-knowing perspective from our own limited one is clearly prone to the possibility of error.) So, we have individual choices with two choosers in relation to them.

There is a danger in thinking about predestination that we will begin to believe it does not matter what you or I do because it is fated. If I knew precisely what my fate was then I would agree any attempts to circumvent it would be futile, but I don't. The fact that it exists as disconcerting as that may sometimes seem is not enough to bring about the loss of my free-will to me in my reality because I don't know the particulars of what that fate actually is. The moment I know that I know the particulars of my destiny regarding something, any choice I have in that matter is forfeit. It is important I think to realize that there are some elements of our destiny that we do know by faith and therefore have lost choice in. But this is a good thing. For example, I know by faith that when I accepted Christ in baptism and chose him to be my Lord and Saviour that my fate as one of God's elect was sealed and my choices no longer affect this matter with one condition. The condition exists because this is true only as long as my choices in life don't lead me to a loss of my foundational faith that is saving me. Notice that when my belief is completely lost, my knowledge of my fate of salvation is freed and in effect my fate of salvation may never have really existed in the first place, but only God in his reality can know the truth regarding that.

Worship

This morning I began to sing a hymn. I really don't sing to myself very often, but as I did this morning I realized I meant what I was saying. I remembered the verse that says his Spirit testifies with our spirit that we are his children and as I worshiped God in song I realized this is how Christians commune with the Spirit of God. I also realized that before I was worshiping the Lord I had almost subconscious troubled feelings. If we live in the Spirit and walk in step with the Spirit, the Kingdom of God is now for us as Christians and we can experience the fruits of his Spirit now. This is how we should live daily. So, my point here is we never have to be worried, or anxious, or afraid because of the Spirit of God living in us. Worship helps us connect with God and be able to live constantly with the fruits of the Spirit in our lives. Worship is an expression of faith. It is faith put into action. The action may not be as great as we might imagine some acts of faith, but it is possibly the most important act of faith we should make. I say it is an action because I not only intelectually affirm a theological idea in my mind, but I profess it aloud and when I do this in song I can express precisely how I feel about my statements. Worship in song is not the only kind of worship, but I've found it to be an incredibly bonding one. Eph. 5:19 says "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord" Whatever music you make to God it should be sincere and from your heart. The reason I say worship is possibly the most important act of faith is because it is something I am realizing I should be doing every day and even every moment if possible. (Remember the verse that says pray continually.) It not only is a way to express love to my savior, but it also affirms my faith in His love and solidifies/strengthens my bond with God. I know we can worship without singing and I believe that is important too. If I speak a psalm or hymn or Bible verse of encouragement in faith I am worshiping. Whenever we speak something whether good or bad it has great power over our own perception and the perception of others around us. (Remember the verse that says do everything without complaining or arguing.) This is because it directs the focus of those who listen. Focus is simply attention or in more general terms putting your eyes on something. Have you ever noticed if you are driving and you start looking at something on the side of the road sometimes it is really hard to not start driving off the road towards what you are looking at! This is because we naturally start following what we focus on. Someone said, you become like what you worship. This is very true. Take a look at people who idolize skate boarders, certain kinds of rock stars or people in a club that they want to be a member of. Appearances of these people change and their minds are quite frequently on becoming more like what they are focusing on all the time. Their characteristics sometimes even subconsciously become like those of the ones they idolize. The awesome thing about becoming more like Christ is that it is more fulfilling than any drug, more satisfying than any vice and it is in fact precisely what God planned for us when he created us. It's side effects are all good things unlike things of the world that we try to satisfy ourselves with sometimes. Being like Christ, knowing him and living in him is what we were created for. Our lives will continually be void and we will always feel as though some huge gaping invisible whole is secretly in us somewhere until we find him and live in his Spirt. He completes us. Worship helps us solidify our bond with him.

"It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men." --C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Purpose

My next door neighbor passed away last week. He would come into my house and help us fix things. We had him and his wife over for dinner once. I've only had a few limited experiences with death, but when I do it always makes me stop and think about life. I remember writing a poem called "The Blur of Life" when I was in high school. It was after I got home from riding on the bus one day and it was about being on a train and watching all the scenery go by being like watching events go by in life. Often times I tend to feel like an observer riding on a one way train that doesn't stop and eventually though it seems far off is destined to roll off the edge of a cliff. A lot of times I have this underlying urge even passion that I'm supposed to do something meet some purpose yet I don't know what and so I sit there on my train car looking out the window. Sometimes I feel guilty because I want to change the world, but I'm not doing it and then someone says you can't change the world but only the things around you that you encounter in your daily life. I thought wow that's a great thought. It helps me relax a bit realizing I'm not responsible for the whole world, but I only need to try and influence those in my immediate circle that I come into contact with. Then I sit back in my train car chair more relaxed and continue to stare out the window. My point here is that it's really easy to do a whole lot of nothing. It's even possible to start to feel okay about it, sort of... There was a book that came out not long ago called "The Purpose Driven Life" that was very popular for a while. It was written to answer a deep question in the hearts of all men and women. Why am I really here? What is this existence, this life, really for? I mean it seems so futile like somebody put me in a rat race to see what I would do in it, but it's a timed race and before long its game over. A timed deadline is a great motivator. Many games have time limits. Have you ever played a game where you weren't perfectly sure what the rules were or how you could win, but there was most definitely a time limit? This is how one can look at life at times. Sometimes I feel like people get so apauled at death and murder and wars, yet sit idly by hardly giving it a thought as who knows how many millions of people inevitably die each day. Its like the whole world has a terminal illness and no one can live more than 80 to 100 years, yet people just accept it and go on. But then, what else can you do... Well, for starters you can devote what little time you have to figuring out why you're here and what if anything you should spend the time you have doing. Because one thing is for sure... death is coming. People look to something classified as "religion" to answer questions like these. Some people have one idea of what the answers are and others have totally different ideas. This is called faith. Some look at faith and its effects from a scientific approach... i.e. "I'll accept only what I see or can observe and classify scientifically and is commonly accepted in the scientific community" and others look at it from an anti-scientific approach... i.e. focus on one hand clapping, when you understand that, then you will reach nirvana or whatever. Belief is a powerful powerful force. It's like a dark room full of people with various paths they can walk on that have steep drop offs. You grope around trying to find which path to take, but only the one you believe in will you follow. Belief inspires action. Just because one believes in something however, doesn't mean it is the truth. If one is following the path they believe in and it fails them and they fall. It alters their faith in some way if they survive it. If it happens to alter their faith enough they may choose to trust in an entirely different path or maybe to not trust any paths at all. How can one in this situation know how to trust anything? If the person running the dark maze were to turn on all the lights everyone would trust in themselves walk out of the maze and it would be over. But what if the purpose of the maze is to teach the people not to trust in themselves, but rather in the one running the maze. In the Bible God promised Abraham a son which is something he desparately wanted. He promised him a myriad of descendents which was highly prized in that time. Yet God waited until Abraham was very old and Abraham as well as his wife Sarah had some doubts at times, but finally gave them a son. Then in their great joyous moment of receiving their long awaited child, God asks Abraham to sacrifice him! He asks him to kill his son. Why in the world did God do this? To teach the person in the dark dark maze to trust in the person running it. Abraham did trust God and was ready to sacrifice his beloved son reasoning that maybe God would raise him from the dead. The point is not that Abraham understood how it would work out, but rather that he trusted God was able to do all things and could work it out ultimately for Abraham's benefit. He trusted that God had his best interests at heart. When Goliath was belittling the armies of Israel David wanted to face him. His brothers and others mocked him. When he ran to face Goliath a massive giant with a huge sword and helmet and shield and he with only five small stones and a sling the point was not that David thought he was more powerful than Goliath, but rather that he knew he came against Goliath in the authority of the living God. His belief was powerful and his faith moved him to action. He trusted in the one running the maze. Not that he understood or knew the way out, but that he knew the one who did and had a relationship with Him. I say all this to say that I believe the purpose of our lives is to learn to trust the one running the maze. To grow in our strength of belief. To learn how to believe well. David believed well. Abraham believed well. The book of Hebrews teaches us that the most dangerous sin is unbelief. All other sins are offshoots of unbelief. Because when we believe in the power of Christ and the freedom we have in him from sin the sins can fall away.
I can choose to believe in many things and even change those beliefs over time, but in reading the Bible I've seen a picture of faith. I've seen a picture of courageous men putting it all on the line to stand on something they believe in, in the face of ridicule and even seemingly impossible odds and yet make it through victoriously... and it was beautiful to me. It is inspiring, beautiful and has powerful meaning that resonates deep in my soul like a low bass note resonates in a water pipe. It makes me think this is what life is for. To trust deeply in the maker and find that he is trustworthy despite all ridicule. To live courageously and be inspired to action through my faith in Him and find that he is worthy of my trust. This is my life-purpose.

Has it ever occurred to you that almost all movies feature some good courageous hero facing impossible odds, yet somehow triumphing over evil. Many feature a savior and some emphasize the faith of the hero which moved him to action. People throughout time and in our culture today have resonated with ideas presented in the Bible. The Heavens declare His glory. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I've watched the Bethlehem Star movie (get it from http://www.bethlehemstar.net/) recently and it amazes me that the planets and stars were set in motion before time to align at just the right position to mark the coming of our savior Jesus Christ and that we can verify it today with software! :) There are many subtle indicators and many not so subtle ones, but the point is God does not want us to trust in ourselves or our own ability to see, but rather in Him. Believe well.

My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus name.

Spiritual Ninjas

When I was young my sister and I would often fight. I knew just what to do, to make her get irritated. If I got perturbed with her I would initiate it. Sometimes you hear this referred to as knowing how to push your buttons. I've realized in life we are in a constant war with our enemy the devil and other spiritual forces. It's not much fun to think about, but if we don't the danger is greater. Our enemy slowly carefully and strategically lives to push our buttons. Sometimes a gnat or fly will come and buzz in my ear. Generally, I shew it away with my hand and hope it doesn't come back. After a while I forget about it, but then it returns. If I leave it undealt with and just keep shewing it each time it comes. My anger rises exponentially each time! The solution is generally for me to put my mind to seeking out the location of the fly and then swatting it. Or if all else fails to just leave the room and go somewhere else. When you notice yourself getting angry mentally step back and examine why. Seek out the irritation and try to squash it flat before you errupt with anger. If all else fails get yourself away from the source of irritation. Something Carl Medley mentioned in one of his men's sessions I attended recently was that when we find ourselves offended and angry or on the verge of a sin we should say to ourselves, "something is wrong with my identity". You see we died to sin, we no longer live... "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20 We died. In our flesh we are dead. But in our spirit we are alive. If you walk up to a corpse in the morgue and punch it in the face does it get offended? Does it get angry and curse or strike back at you in anger? No, it's dead. Neither should we if we are truly dead in our flesh. Dead men don't get offeneded. (This is another tidbit of wisdom from Carl.) When the Holy Spirit lives in me and when I am walking in that Spirit it is unnatural for me to respond as I would when following after the flesh. So, I am struck by the fact that we are constantly under assault. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8 This seems to be my biggest problem. I am inconsistent in being alert. The devil left Jesus to come back and tempt him at an opportune time. Our enemy searches for points in time when our guards are down. He looks for points when we have grown weary because of pressures and may be more susceptible or vulnerable to a pushing of one of our buttons so to speak. He tempts me to not write on this blog, to not think about God each day, to not pray or read the Word and at the time my failure to do one of these things seems minor, but their cumulative effects are devastating. I must have a habit developed of actively focusing my mind on God daily. I must also practice and become accomplished in being aware of His presence in all things constantly. This is a skill to be developed that I believe is a gift from the Holy Spirit. There is a funny thing about gifts from God. It seems you aren't really able to receive them until you really want them. Preparing ourselves for defense and even offense against our enemy is no different than training in Taekwendo or some other martial art. We are called to be spiritual ninjas. This is not by our own strength but by the strength of the One living in us. I really liked the movie called the Matrix, because it has so many spiritual parallels. The second and third movies kind of dropped the ball in my opinion, but the first one is worth seeing. It reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress in many ways although not quite as obvious. Neo begins his journey realizing there has to be something more to life. This is not unlike a non-Christian searching for meaning. Then someone external to his world seeks him out because they believe in him. God chose us in a similar way. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. (Heb 12:2) He has a new name, Neo, symbolic of his liberated self. Mr. Anderson is the name of his enslaved self. In much the same way God is always giving people new names in the Bible when they make a transition. Later on in the movie Neo meets with an "Oracle" and he speaks with Morpheus about believing in fate he struggles with the idea of whether he is in control of his own destiny or not. The answer seems to be yes and no. The Oracle new just what to say to help him along his journey and ultimately it seems she knew his destiny. Did he break the vase or did she make him break the vase. Christians struggle with this same paradoxical conundrum in trying to comprehend the predestination and the free will that God has given us simultaneously. All through the movie he tries to determine if he is the "One". Now, I know you could see this as though the "One" is symbolic of Christ, but I like to look at this another way. He is the "first one" to really, truly wake up from the matrix and realize who he is (Just as Christians wake up and realize who they are in Christ). Granted others are awake, but he realizes the power he has from another realm like none other. I'm not claiming there are perfect parallels, but there are many cool symbolisms we can draw from this. The situation of Neo going to the Oracle because he wants her to tell him who he is resembles our own struggles with identity. The answer to that question tempers our entire lives. We will never be anything more than who we believe we are. This also reminds me of how believers begin to doubt themselves and if they are really who God says they are. Morpheus is symbolic of God to me in that he never stopped believing in Neo and who he believed Neo was. The Oracle told Neo he was waiting for something. Many times we as Christians have immense and incredible authority over our enemy through Christ, but we don't believe who God says we are. Or if we do, we feel like we have to grow into it or something. We are waiting for something. The truth is we are already seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. (Eph. 2:6) We are more than conquerers through him who loved us. (Rom. 8:37) "You know that road Neo, you know where it leads." Trinity encourages Neo to long for a new life, just as in Christ we have a new life. Another compelling part of the movie is when Neo is in a sparring room with Morpheus. Morpheus is encouraging him to see beyond the physical. All his power and strength and speed were predominantly grounded in another realm. In much the same way, all of ours is grounded in another realm. It is grounded in Christ and the Spirit in the Spiritual realm. A famous line from a small boy to Neo is, "Do not try to bend the spoon, that is impossible. But rather try to realize there is no spoon." In much the same way many times Christians try to "be good" or just focus really hard on getting better and not sinning to avoid condemnation from God. When really we should simply realize there is now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ and the bending of our behavior that takes place is rooted in another realm. Every miraculous power Neo had available to him was rooted in another realm, just as every miraculous power aka gift given to us from God is rooted in another realm. If we walk by the spirit we live in this spiritual realm and not in the world. Then toward the end of the movie Neo dies physically when trying to stand up to his enemy... and then he resurrects rooted in an entirely different realm awakened by love (a kiss from Trinity) just as we as Christians are beckoned and called to and ultimately awakened as new creations by the love of the Holy Trinity in our lives. He is dead in a way to the way of thinking and the life he once lived and alive in another way, more alive than he's ever been before. This is what it is like for Christians when they are baptized and then become a new creation. They die to the flesh and are raised with Christ in the Spirit. Neo isn't really the savior in this movie, he's the saved and his mission is to liberate all the other human beings in the world just as he has been liberated. He is symbolic of a Christian who has become a new creation in Christ Jesus. I feel like the most powerful assault our enemy can throw at us as Christians is the same as one Captain Picard sent to the Borg in a Star Trek episode... sleep. (If you're a Star Trek fan, maybe you'll remember that one. :) This is the same thing that happens to Prince Rillian in the Silver Chair... it's as though he's asleep to who he is during the day. Our enemy distracts us with daily activities and we lose sight of who we are. We must learn how to live as who we are in Christ throughout all the daily activities we face. And when a temptation comes to us, which will feel like our own idea or thought, that we might enjoy ourselves more if we did something in a way contrary to the spirit, we must step back and ask ourselves who are we? Is that who we are? Are we one that walks according to that nature that pleases itself and ultimately results in death, or are we one that walks according to the Spirit. John 8:32 (You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.) We will never find the power to conquer the temptation of the flesh in our own strength... for that is like trying to bend a spoon with your mind, but rather we must realize there is no condemnation for us, we are already seated in heavenly realms with Christ Jesus, we are not of this world, our home is in another place ... We are more than conquerers through him who loved us. Know it... Be it... Live it.

Connect with God

I've found that usually when I get an idea for a habit and try to start it things will go great for a while, but eventually it stops. They say you have to repeat something X times (21 days?) before it becomes an official habit. I'm not sure what that means. I guess just that you've officially developed a tendency or familiarity with doing it. I think some things always take self-discipline to make yourself do though, habit or not. One habit I am hoping to develop is to write on this blog every day if I can. It seems to me that it helps when I express myself for me to think about things. I've noticed sometimes when I tell people things I really just want to tell myself, but hearing myself tell someone else makes the ideas sink in better for me. Another habit I've tried to acquire, but has proven difficult is to read the Bible every day. I don't want to just read the words though, I want them to read me. I want to meditate on each verse and hear what God wants to say. (The Word of God is living and active sharper than any two-edged sword.) God is always communicating in different ways if we keep our eyes, ears and hearts open. Praying continually is what Paul says we should do. This is a constant conscious awareness of your communion with God through the Spirit. Sometimes when I try to focus on this I get a feeling that kicks back saying, "but wait, you can't be close to God... you're sinful... and dirty." I don't think it is wise to ever even remotely take the seriousness of sin lightly, but I know God never ever ever wants sin to be the reason for my separation from Him
ever again. Because when Christ died on the cross the temple curtain tore! Praise God! This symbolized that I don't have to be separated from Him ever again because of sin. "But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away." (2 Cor. 3:16)

Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Cor. 3:15-18)

Our enemy is sly and he assaults in subtle ways. His main goal for any human is one thing... disconnect from God. If we are separated we are cut off from strength, power, joy and life. Cut off from every good thing. It's important for it to sink in that God's acceptance of us has nothing to do with how much or little we have sinned, but rather it has everything to do with the condition of our heart. "Anyone who comes to me I will never turn away." "Seek him and you will find him, if you seek him with all your heart." "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." "Their lips praise me, but their hearts are far from me."

Sometimes I feel distant from God even when I understand these things. In my life, I find that I think a lot about the power of my focus and the value of my attention... which is priceless. Sometimes I wonder about how I can hear from God without constantly looking at His Word. It's true His Word is vital and an awesome way that He uses to communicate with us, however the whole world is His. I think that when I'm on a walk and a leaf happens to fall to the ground in front of me... God dropped that leaf and was in control of my exposure to it. Every thing I see or hear can be a tool for God to communicate something to me if I keep my mind and heart open. I love God and want to commune with Him constantly. I want to know who I am and claim authority over deception. I believe that their are many things in life I don't understand. Their are many things about God I don't understand. But, I also have faith that He created me in my vast complexity and the universe and that he orchestrated the heavens and the laws that govern them. And, the most important things that I have faith in about God are that
He loves me, He is able to accomplish anything He wants, and that He is faithful.

Our God, is an awesome God, he reigns from Heaven above, With wisdom power and love our God is an awesome God. He is faithful... and He will rule, so bow before Him, and praise His name.... Our God is an awesome God.

I've also realized it's important to praise God. Just to sing verses to a praise song in your head from time to time not even out loud, help to focus your mind and tap into the communion or the "connect" with God that fuels our strength and joy in Him.